There’s been a lot of talk recently about catcalling and men harassing women as they go about their business. There needs to be a lot of talk, because some people don’t seem to get it.
Dear men, you can be the nicest, sweetest, most polite and attractive man, you still are not ENTITLED to a response from a woman. It’s that sense of entitlement that gets you in trouble. You can open a door, you can smile, you can say hello, and a woman doesn’t owe you a response. Nobody owes you that. Maybe it’s impolite, perhaps it’s rude, but keep it moving, there are other women out there.
What you might see as nothing, the woman might find annoying, harassing, and rude. You might be the 10th man who approached her in the way you have. Now you’re thinking that she’s punishing you for man number 9 right? Wrong.
I was having a conversation with an older fellow a few weeks ago; he told me that he doesn’t even like approaching women now, because the response is usually a screw face. So I asked “how exactly do you approach women?” He said that he might say “hi baby/sexy/beautiful”, so I told him that was his mistake. He turned to me with the most puzzled look and asked, “But don’t you want to know that a man thinks you look good? I would shake a man’s hand if he called out to my woman and said she looked good.”
Dear men, I don’t need your opinion of how I look, to validate my life. I don’t need a stranger’s approval thrown at me as I try to go about my business. I actually hate being referred to by terms of endearment by random people I don’t know. I understand that some of you can’t seem to grasp this, but maybe just, I don’t know… good morning/hello/smile/nod/nothing…
A young lady recently related her experience of walking home and having a man curb crawl along side her. Listen, men, that isn’t sexy, it’s not sweet, it doesn’t make us feel warm and fuzzy inside because a man is showing interest. It’s CREEPY. It’s the kind of thing you see on CSI type television shows, when they look at camera footage of when the woman was last seen before she went missing.
I’ve had that curb crawl experience. Walking in high daytime on an empty tree lined street, a car slowed down and started following me. There were two men in it, both talking at me, becoming more and more agitated and aggressive more I ignored them.
I hear you, I could have just spoken to them right? Nah. I don’t know them, I had no interest in knowing them, and there were two of them and one of me. That’s scary.
And to the women out there who say things like “that’s why some of you women are single, you’re unapproachable, just say hi”… walk to a cemetery and tell that to …wait, some bodies are never found.
Maybe I’m being melodramatic. It’s not all about the creep factor. But what you’re saying is that women should be available to every man who approaches them. That makes no sense. If that’s how you want to live, fair enough, but it’s not for everyone. Just respect that and walk on.
I’ve said hello, I’ve smiled at people in the street. Many of those people never acknowledged me. You just keep it moving. Why does the reaction of a stranger mean so much to your life?
How is it that so many of you find it really easy to move on to the next chick’s bed, but can’t move on to the next woman on the road?